susanna

I've just posted an entry to my other blog at wordpress.com where I write in German. The Blog there is explicitely not personal, but only about theoretical subjects I am interested in. (And, well, I must admit that I fled from the discussions at metafandom...)

So if anyone wants to read that article, here's the link: http://susanna14.wordpress.com/

I've longed to read a lot - I don't know since when. I just know that I keep borrowing books from the library, and that I don't have time to read them. I wanted to read during the holidays but somehow I did not manage. I have several ideas in mind for essays that I want to write, but instead of sitting down and making a list of topics, and of writing down ideas I already have for these topics, I rather continue my story. And the ideas go on and on in my head...

Writing my story is easy these days. Just sit down and write according to the plan that is set down in my notebooks.

I run away from these other things I want to write...

Well, I always planned to write about the stuff I read. One, or rather two books I read these days are "A very short introduction to Buddhism" and "A very short introduction to Buddhist Ethics" by Damien Keown. It part of my project to learn more about East Asian culture so that I am better equipped if the "different culture" argument turns up. Both books are good and recommendable, I have learnt a lot about Buddhism that I did not learn before, and the author certainly knows a lot about his subject and explains different tradition of Buddhism in a sophisticated way. I must admit however that I had some issues with the first of these books: At some point I but the book down and told myself: Okay, this is oviously not a book written by a scholar of comparative religion who himself is rather neutral when it comes to buddhism, or with a benevolent interest in buddhism without being a believer himself (you cannot devote your life to studying something you don't like). It is a book written by a buddhist, and he is advertising his religion. He is critical, but he is still advertising it.

Once I had come to this conclucion, I could go and reread the book and take everything the author said with a grain of salt.

( Now, what I took with a really big grain of salt was his interpretation of European tragedy. )

The new stats toy at LJ has persuaded me that more people read what I write than I used to think. I wish I could get stats for narutoforadults too, but as far as I know it's impossible.

I plan a bunch of new intelligent entries ( no lolcats, no virtual dragons, no amateurish personility tests )

Today I was thinking about my students, and how I sometimes suffer when I see how things go downhill and I cannot help because the students' real problems are on a psychological level. I also thought about the fanfic The Bends (I hardly read any fanfic these days but this one is wonderful. It's also AU, so it's understandable even if you are not a fan of Naruto.) and I thought how many ideas I have how the boy's situation could be improved if there were just some people around who are willing to talk and to listen. People who have gained some wisdom in the course of their lives, who are open-minded and warm-hearted and not afraid of suffering or listening to what people tell about their sufferings. ( rest hidden for length )

I finally have new contacts. I really feel different with contacts than with glasses. Without glasses I feel in more direct connection with the world around me. Maybe it would be different if I were wearing glasses all the time, and maybe my problem is still that I am vain, but I am glad about the new contacts. I also got tested, and my vision with contacts is really good.

I don't have any problems with them, while in summer I constantly had problems. Also the occasional pain I had in my eyes before I got the new contacts is gone.

Else I have a lot of work.

I try to read.

I collect articles about depression. There will be a longer entry about it soon.

I spent the afternoon with my friend from Yemen, and when I told her that one problem in Germany is that particularly among boys good grades are considered uncool she told me that in Yemen they have the same problem now for some years, due to High school movies from the U.S. where the nerd is not cool and the kid with bad grades is much cooler.

I have now actually heard the first podcast by Mur Lafferty. It is quite okay, but one thing struck me: She writes about her idea for her book that was brilliant, and of her fear that it would not be as clear and brilliant on the paper as it was in her head. She assumes that this is the case for a lot of writers: They have great ideas, and on the paper they seem trite.

It is a question that was once asked by tanrien who has abandoned her LJ, and I had difficulties answering to it, because I don't have these brilliant ideas. I never had, and I despaired of becoming a writer even though I liked to write (letters or diary, and even my thesis) because I had no great ideas what to write about, and it was actually when I did some automatic writing exercises, that is sitting down to write just what comes into your mind, that made me realize that I could come up with some ideas what to write about by writing.

The ideas did not seem great and clear and brillant, but they were ideas for stories, and finally I could write. Maybe this is why my stories often get so long - I enjoy the writing itself.

( rest hidden behind cut as it is about the fanfic I working on at the moment - no spoilers, however )